Does Depression Hurt?

In the Military, Too often it was taught, drilled and instilled in us that 'Real Men Don't Cry.' We can never allow ourselves to be emoitonaly weak. We were trained to be strong, resilient and always tough it out. That's what a real warrior does, is it not? Well, Not always. Sometimes Men who have been subjected to traumatic events under combat conditions have flashbacks of those events.


The mind replays sights and sounds permanently recorded and stored within its memory bank. These intrusive thoughts can occur at night ( as nightmares) or as flashbacks during the waking hours. They can be "Triggered" by any stimuli of our sensory system: certain sounds, visual objects/places, smells and even taste. Most Vietnam Veterans have unfavorable responses to loud noises, crowds, wooded and or forest areas. The Iraqi Veteran also has to deal with desert sand, alley-ways, and house to house urban dwellings.


Depression can occur when the memory of death of a fellow Marine(s) /Soldier(s) returns and haunts us, or lingers for days on end. Sometimes he / or she will wonder why God sparred them...Thus they will feel a mental burden called SURVIVORS GUILT. These depressive states are now known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD for short. Thousands of us have it. We are Burdened by the PAIN. We argue spontaneously, we are temperamental, we sulk/self isolate ourselves, and Yes-WE CRY. Wouldn't You?

What is your opinion?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?
Stress Management?
This Current War?

BOOK REVIEW OF:

I CAN STILL HEAR THEIR CRIES, EVEN IN MY SLEEP
By E. Everett McFall

By Grady Harp (Los Angeles, CA United States) - See all my reviews

An Amazon Top Ten Reviewer

A Corpsman's Response to The Vietnam War: Sequelae, October 13, 2007



E. Everett McFall offers his own tragedies and illness and gradual recovery from the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the result of giving medical aid to the living and the dead during his tour of duty in Vietnam, 1966/1967. Responding to a therapist's advice to commit the unspeakable experiences to a written journal was the impetus to launch his slow and terrifying road to recovery, a journey that in his own words persists to this day.

The results of that initial journal are here in this collection of thoughts, reflections and poems he has appropriately titled I CAN STILL HEAR THEIR CRIES EVEN IN MY SLEEP: A Journey Into PTSD. It is a book that would be well for all of us to read and experience as, despite the horrendous accounts of war's disabling effects on the human mind, it is also one of the books that will be considered a retrospective first in the exploration of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - a 'new' disease state dramatically brought to light by the experiences of Vietnam Vets.

McFall may not be trained as a poet, but he is more than sophisticated as a communicator. Few people who did not serve on a battlefield have an appreciation for the task assigned to Medics or Corpsmen, young lads whose expected life span in country was counted in days rather than in years. These are the 'field docs' who ministered to the wounded, salvaged those they could, and assisted the physicians in assimilating ‘matching’ body parts after mine and grenade and yet larger explosions threw disassembled arms, legs, torsos, feet, etc far from the point of 'enemy engagement', in order to ship the remains to the soldiers' families back home. How any Corpsman could escape psychic damage from such unrelenting trauma is impossible and McFall sensitively expresses the sights, the sounds, the odors, and the tragic aftermath of such an existence.

These poems are raw, difficult to read without a visceral response, but at the same time they demonstrate how at least one survivor, however injured by that experience, was able to revisit that time through poems and mark a path to gradual recovery. McFall generously adds to his book appendices such as 'Tips for Vets and Families Who are Managing Stress' and a 'Veterans Resource Guide and Directory', additions that make this sensitive book as much a gift to the war-experienced reader as it is a gift to the world of poetry. This is a book of courage, survival, and hope - and one well worth the attention of a wide audience.

Grady Harp, October 07

MARINES-Together We Served- OOH Rah!

Do You Know What USMC Means?




USMC

The synonym USMC stands for the United States Marine Corps, which is recognized as one of the premier combat forces in the world. The USMC is a branch of the U.S. military responsible for providing power projection from the sea, utilizing the mobility of the U.S. Navy to rapidly deliver combined-arms task forces to global crises. Alongside the U.S. Navy, the USMC operates under the United States Department of the Navy.

Originally organized as the Continental Marines in 1775 as naval infantry, the USMC has evolved its mission with changing military doctrine and American foreign policy. Owing to the availability of Marines at sea, the USMC has served in every American armed conflict including the Revolutionary War.

To find out about the USMC, one of the premier combat forces in the world, and also to have the opportunity of keeping in touch with colleagues, log on to the http:/marines.togetherweserved.com website. TogetherWeServed.com is a unique, feature-rich resource helping Marines stay faithful to the Brotherhood of the Corps. This is a place where Marines can re-connect with lost Brothers, share memories and tell their own Marine story.
USMC Homepage


What do you think???
Please feel free to leave a comment!!!
Got your copy of I Can Still Hear Their Cries, Even in My Sleep, yet???

DANCING WITH DEATH, a combat ritual

Enemy in the valley, Midnight attack they mount,
Enemy in the valley, Too many to count.
Enemy in the valley, As far as one can see
VC in the valley, They want to kill me.

Foxtrot 6 to H.Q. –Come In
Fire mission! Fire mission, over,
Broken Arrow--Broken Arrow,
Fire mission! Fire mission , over,
“Scorched Earth” 10 minutes non-stop
Zappers in our lines, Position is overrun,
Can’t hold, can’t hold, “It” must be done,
Fire mission! Fire mission, over.

H.Q. to Foxtrot 6, confirm your last…
“Broken Arrow – Broken Arrow”.
Pour it ALL, all on top of us,
Napalm, High Explosives & Phosphorus.
Roger that! Foxtrot 6, tango’s in your house,
Dig in tails down, HELL is on the way.
Firing for effect, so hold your breath
Time to go dancing, Dancing with Death!

Trees and People explode like Popcorn
Screaming flaming darting Silhouettes,
Stomach churning, from Napalm Burning
Wood and charred bar-b-que’d Flesh.
Smoldering humanity, such Insanity
Pungent chemicals: super heated Acid,
Mixtures of 10 w 40 & High Octane set aflame
Rolling Soapy Thunder, igniting perpetual pain.
Infernal Inhaled, we struggle for Breath,
It's a Combat Ritual of Dancing With DEATH.

(AS ALWAYS,YOUR COMMENTS ARE WELCOME)

PTSD -103 part 2

Almost 3 million Americans came to South Vietnam during it's decades of war. Some were active combatants, others were rear echelon or support forces. (more on that later.) Not everyone fired their weapons or engaged the enemy. However the enemy made his / her presence known whenever they felt like it.


There were things that some of us saw that would sicken even the most moral upright citizen, not to mention that we participated in or witnessed things, or at least had knowledge of-that which would be a violation of criminal laws of any civilized community. After all we were at WAR. We were young, we were trained to be skilled professional assassins, killers, and mentally motivated to; Adapt, improvise, and overcome. We were trained to do whatever it took to get the job done.


Unfortunately, when we came home, we came "Home" to an anti-war minded, unsympathetic, unsupportive public who openly expressed their contempt for us, as if We had started the WAR. The people, here stateside, whose freedoms we believed we were defending, expected these killers of men, women, and children to "act normal" once we returned. After all,"you are not in the jungle or rice paddies now, boy." Define NORMAL.


Those painful memories, flashbacks, nightmares of the carnage-human life lost and the brutality against humanity, far exceeded the normal threshold of Sanity. "Oh, He's just having a little trouble adjusting to being back here in the real world.'' Sarcastically we were told, it's just a little "Shell Shock, it will go away in time."



***News Flash!!! Every Sound, Action, Thought, Visual Stimuli, Feeling, and Smell is permanently recorded-stored in our mind... Killing is not Normal. Watching your friends die, is not Normal. Smelling decayed, rotting human flesh is not Normal. Inhaling charcoal black skin and bones from bodies burnt beyond recognition certainly anit Normal either.

It has a name; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. ---Google it for some interesting reading.

PTSD-103 part 1

I am a Recovering Alcoholic ( A Functional Alcoholic).
I am a 61 year young diabetic, hypertensive, disabled Vietnam Veteran with PTSD-
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
For ME, it's a 3D Instant Video Playback in my mind, with Cranial Surround Sound...I have been reliving and revisiting my tour of duty in South East Asia daily since 1967.

Through my writings, I hope to bring a measure of ‘healing’, or some degree of peace of mind to Any and ALL Veterans who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also known as PTSD. World wide there are thousands upon thousands of former combatants still struggling with personal demons.

They are struggling with vivid nightmares, recurring flashbacks with intrusive thoughts, which ultimately produce lengthy periods of depression and suicidal feelings. Forty plus years later, I’m still struggling with spontaneous mood swings, and confrontational outburst of anger.

We struggle because we are still fighting the mental battles; we’re still trying to wrap our mind around what occurred during our tour of duty in the combat zone. It’s hard sometimes, trying to deal with the memories of those events that have darkened our past. Either we give in (give up) and succumb to those suicidal thoughts, or we find another device / vice as an avenue of escape. Most Veterans, myself included, turned to drugs and or alcohol in an attempt to quiet or drown out the memories and feelings of what we saw, what we actively participated in, or had knowledge of. That is why "I Can Still Hear Their Cries, Even In My Sleep."
....it's late & I'm going to try to get some shut-eye......


Spacial Thanks to Peter Anthony Holder, CJAD 800AM Montreal
http://peteranthonyholder.blogspot.com

Shyhawks of the VIETNAM WAR

These multi-purpose bombers were among the very powerful fixed wing workhorses of the Vietnam War. As far as the United States Marine Corps personnel on the ground was concerned, they were our low level, close order ''fire dragon's''.

All airships; helicopters or fixed wing, was our version of "Death From Above." They would swoop down out the sky, and come in guns a-blazing, firing rockets, and or dropping high explosives, or a long "Wall of Fire"> napalm (a jellied soap and gasoline mixture). Sometimes they would also drop white phosphorus bombs (an acid-like chemical substance) that burns white hot at extreme temperatures, "eating" through flesh, wood and even some metals . Those charging enemy forces would be no longer be an over-whelming threat to us.

We would jump up and down waving our arms, shouting approval and marvel at the accuracy of those courageous pilots as well as the precision of their drops on a enemy who sought to 'wipe us out'/ over-run our position and kill all of us grunts. However the end result, the residue, would be blown up body parts, extreme crispy critters, and or a life-time scarred and permanently disfigured shell that once resembled a human being who had anti-American belief's.

The world does not always see why the combat veteran suffers from PTSD-, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, aka, "Shell Shock", "Combat Fatigue."

I Can Still Hear Their Cries, Even In My Sleep...a journey into PTSD
By "Doc" E. Everett McFall, USMC, Class of Vietnam 1966-1967
Rated 5 (*****) Five Stars by AMAZON.Com readers and book reviewers.

To view an automated slide show of some of those heroic Skyhawks of the Vietnam War,
CLICK HERE

Or paste this URL on your browser...
http://images.military.com/slideshows/skyhawk-units-of-vietnam.htm?ESRC=marine.nl

PTSD 103

Holiday Thoughts on Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

''Oh Say Can You See... The Rockets Red Glare?"

Holidays and social gatherings in parks and fields are not so festive and joyous for me anymore, at least not the ones which promote explosive / loud nose-making celebrations, such as; New Years Eve, The Fourth of July, Memorial Day, and any that offer an excuse to shoot off our fun toys. I would venture to guess that most combat Veterans feel pretty much the same, we have problems and phobias about large crowds, sudden loud noises, wooded areas and wide open clearings. Why, you ask? Well, those fields/areas were the ideal places for the enemy to spring a trap / an ambush...

To most folks, it would appear normal to celebrate with party favors, noise makers, sky rockets and the innocent shooting of fire arms into the air. However, to the Veteran, it is somewhat nerve racking, unsettling, and often just pure mental hell. Why? Because those cherry bombs, M-80's, M-150's, and explosives of all sizes rekindle real painful memories form the past.

No, I'm not being absurd, those whistling rockets, 1/8th to 1/4th sticks of dynamite are reminders of combat conditions. (READ: I Can Still Hear Their Cries, Even In My Sleep).

PTSD is total or partial recall, vivid Flashbacks on a panoramic temporal Hi-Def screen complete with cranial surround sound. For me it's of "Mortars" whistling as they approach and rain down upon us. They sing a high pitched song of death and destruction until impact or above ground detonation. Hearing those celebratory tools prevent vets from enjoying those occasions, a we are forced to relive combat conditions. Hence: PTSD...

Each whistling rocket, no matter it's size, each loud bang or boom stimulates a take cover urge, then a flight or flight emotion within me that will only subside about an hour after the last shot or explosion. Basically I 'll try to be at home or with trusted associates where I can feel a little more safer. Otherwise, I'm tense, uneasy and reactive to what I perceive as "Life Threatening." That is Holiday-PTSD.

Happy 4th of July 2007

HAPPY JULY 4th!!!

I Can Still Hear Thier Cries, Even In My Sleep...

A Journey Into PTSD!

My Special Thanks To:

Terry Austin Hunt, Sgt USMC

TerryHunt7USMC@AOL.Com

I TALK To The DEAD

Thousands upon Thousands of Veterans have conversations with the DEAD. Some of us talk to the same corpses on a daily basis, others talk to a variety of different ones, ie; Family, Loved ones, Fellow Combat Buddies, even the Enemy. We interact with them in our waking moments of consciousness and mostly when we are sleep.

These conversations are real to us. To others, we are just "psycho-babbling." We are often shunned, ostracized, forced into isolation from the people whom we should seek shelter and solace. They don't know how to deal with our PTSD, so we turn to Drugs and Alcohol to escape the pain of Total Recall, The Nightmares, The Flashbacks with Intrusive Thoughts. We Self Medicate ourselves. Ultimately society becomes ashamed of this blight that has stained it's pure unblemished moral fabric. Yet we are the physical extensions of your political cerebral manifestations.

YES, we Talk to the Souls, the Faces of Fear and Death! Many of us can't get a full nights peace, as for myself... I Can Still Hear Their Cries, Even In My Sleep!!!

-------------------------------------------------

“E. Everett McFall's collection ‘I Can Still Hear Their Cries’, is a cathartic work that takes a reader into the torment and pain of a Vietnam War veteran who, through poetry and prose, provides a reader with a shocking sensory insight into life as a Marine Corpsman(Medic) and a surviving veteran. His poetry is vivid, visual, honest, compelling and painful.

McFall, I commend you for your candid openness, your vulnerability and capacity to reach others who are too often overlooked. We believe that this work could provide support for veterans of the Gulf War as well as those returning from Iraq and their families.”

Regina V. Jones, Professor, Indiana University Northwest, Dept. of Minority Studies